


Won, Not Given

by windire



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Episode Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 15:51:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6616450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windire/pseuds/windire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-verdict, Aaron and Robert stand outside the Woolpack. A little coda to the April 15th, 2016 episode.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Won, Not Given

**Author's Note:**

> I've not published anything I've written in years. I'm also so new in this fandom that I DO NOT KNOW A SINGLE PERSON HERE and this is all sort of terrifying. So, er, hi! I'll go back to hiding now.

The tension that had been building over the last months, ever since Gordon first appeared back in Aaron's life, culminated on the day of the verdict. The pinnacle of it, the uncontrollable explosion of emotion that left Aaron sobbing in the gallery when the verdict was announced, should have blown over. It didn't. The tears kept coming. Every time he thought he had himself under control, someone would say something that hit a raw nerve and it would all start again.

He cried into his shirtsleeves and, later, into Robert's jacket.

It didn't necessarily feel like relief that the trial was over. Rather, it felt like a confusing sort of emptiness, like a lack of direction. After all that had happened, the world should surely have been a different place. It wasn't.

What kind of idiot was Aaron, anyway, getting back together with Robert at a time like this? Did he even mean it? Was he committed to this now? Was this real, or just some sort of escape from the burden of the trial?

Honest to God, though, it felt so good. They stood there, quietly, Robert's arm comfortingly around Aaron's shoulders, Aaron's head resting against Robert's shoulder, _on the street in broad daylight_. It was the stuff of dreams, but Aaron's head was too full of scattered half-thoughts for him to fully appreciate it.

Robert's arm around him, Robert's warmth and strength and the scent of him, the nearness, it soothed the pain, though. Made it more bearable. 

"Your jacket's going to be all wet," Aaron said after a while, trying to sound playful to lighten the mood. His waterfall of tears had all but subsided. He felt like he was slobbering all over Robert like some oversized and bad-mannered dog. Awkwardly, he stood up from his slouch against Robert's side.

He really needed to get a grip if this thing with Robert was ever going to go anywhere. No one wanted a sobbing mess for a boyfriend, not even Robert. It was a miracle Robert had put up with it for this long.

Robert seemed to sense what Aaron was trying to do and obediently played ball. "Good thing I can always take it off, then, eh?" he said, that charmer of a half-smile curling the corner of his lips. 

The sleeves of Aaron's shirt were dry by now, again, so he took advantage of them to wipe his face. He looked away.

A miracle was exactly what this was, though. It was like in the past couple of months, there had been this entirely new Robert, one that was patient and tolerant and supportive, and Aaron didn't know what to do with him. Supportive, yes. Helpful, yes. Overcrowding, sometimes.

Loving.

Aaron looked up but avoided Robert's gaze. He stood there looking at Robert and thought about taking off the jacket and all the rest of Robert's clothes. He wanted it and was frightened of it at the same time. His arms, desperate to reach out to touch, hung uselessly at his sides. "I don't know what I'm doing."

It was like the pieces of the puzzle that made up his soul had been shaken up, changed around, and left for him to pick up. All the pieces were still there; he just needed to find new ways of making them fit. 

Robert shifted slowly, picking up Aaron's beer bottle from where it'd been left on the windowsill. He offered it to Aaron, again. "You're having a drink." There was that smile, like Aaron had just said something daft; like Robert couldn't believe he found Aaron saying daft things endearing. "With me."

Helplessly, Aaron took the beer. "But – in the long run." It echoed what he'd said before; he was going to need to find a way to live with all the bad memories. He just didn't know where to start. Happy everyday life seemed like a hazy dream somewhere in the distance – he knew it existed, but he had no idea which path would take him there.

"Well," Robert said after a moment. "You have half the village, like you said. They all love you and want to support you. You're a Dingle, aren't you?" He nudged Aaron with his elbow. 

"Yeah," Aaron said, thinking about the name change. Aaron Dingle. It wasn't so bad. It was a million times better than Livesy. He'd already been one of the Dingles in every way that mattered; now it was going to be official, too. "Yeah," he repeated, more confidently, and thought of all the non-Dingles in his corner, too, Adam, Paddy, Victoria. Just to name a few. 

"And you have your own business, yeah? That's a lot. Your own business is a big deal." 

"Yeah, well," Aaron said, embarrassed now. He looked away.

"And," Robert forged on before Aaron had time to say more. He leaned in a bit closer, careful not to touch, and watched Aaron closely. "You have a boyfriend." 

A boyfriend, who – who Aaron might have made a huge mistake getting back together with. 

Swallowing, Aaron looked up. Robert had that silly, soft look on his face, half-smiling, half-hopeful, waiting for a reaction, hoping for a good one. Aaron couldn't bring himself to tell Robert that if Robert had thought he was in too vulnerable a place, that night they first went to see Sandra, he was just as vulnerable now. The trial as such was over, but the emotional rollercoaster wasn't even slowing down just yet. Not much had changed, really, since that night. 

Not much had changed. Robert was still there, right by his side. 

Aaron felt the corner of his mouth twitch, a ghost of a smile, and suddenly Robert was grinning at him, beaming, soft and gentle and charming. Aaron let himself be charmed. 

"Yeah," he said, and then, cocking his head, a challenge, "a boyfriend who'll kiss me in front of my mum's pub where anyone can see." 

Robert didn't even miss a beat, his beer bottle already on the windowsill and out of his hands as he leaned in, not glancing around to see who was looking. His hands came up to Aaron's neck, thumbs touching Aaron's jaw, and they were kissing, _on the street in broad daylight_. 

It went on for longer than Aaron had expected, but not as long as he'd hoped. Robert broke the kiss but stayed near.

"Let them see," Robert said, holding Aaron's face, forcing him into eye contact. "Let them watch. I want them all to know." He kissed Aaron again, all wet lips and tender touches, but firm enough to mean business. 

Eyes closed, Aaron shifted his weight so that he was half-leaning on Robert. There had been love in Aaron's heart for a long time, now, and desire for even longer. But next to them, there was something new, something growing in the pit of Aaron's stomach and the faraway corners of his mind.

Aaron brought his hands up, fisted them in Robert's jacket, and shifted his weight further, letting Robert carry more of it. The solid shape of Robert's body felt like more than a comfort; it felt like a luxury. Aaron recognised the new feeling, even though throughout his life, he'd felt it so rarely.

It was trust, slowly stirring.


End file.
